Mommy’s Double Standard: Addressing the Stigma of Motherhood & Marijuana

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High Tea is a personal blog by Silver Therapeutics offering real-life experiences and perspectives to normalize cannabis use as a wellness tool. It is not intended to provide medical advice.

When asked to think of moms who consume cannabis, most people probably conjure up images of Nancy Botwin running game in the famous TV series, Weeds, or Bad Girl RiRi smoking a blunt poolside. I’m willing to bet very few picture someone like me: a thirty-something mother who loves my child, and cannabis, and has my shit together too, thank you very much. 

In fact, if you simply google “moms who smoke weed,” you will be met with tons of articles about the dangers of using cannabis while pregnant and breastfeeding, and the occasional brave stoner mom who was interviewed by the local news station for a puff piece or hopped onto the growing #cannamom trend on TikTok. If you search for famous moms who smoke weed, you will find “without shame” tacked onto the headline, perpetuating the idea that using cannabis with shame is the norm. 

I’m here to share a secret: way more “regular” moms use cannabis than are willing to admit, thanks to yet another glaring double-standard placed on caregivers. 

As a society, we are generally unfazed by– and even encouraging towards mothers who like to unwind with an alcoholic beverage. We see babies dressed up in “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere” onesies and don’t bat an eyelash. We gift “mommy’s sippy cup” wine tumblers at baby showers and comment on how amazing that first drink will be once the baby is born. This is not to say anything is inherently wrong with this choice of a well-deserved relaxation break, but rather to highlight the massive discrepancy between the social acceptability of mommy wine culture and moms who love them some cannabis. 

I am just shy of three years into motherhood and I have yet to receive any cute gifts like “mama’s favorite bubbler,” or a silly magnet with a 1950’s housewife saying, “not now children, mommy needs to blaze.” Do they exist? I hope so, but even if they do, they certainly aren’t easily available or accepted.

I can only laugh imagining what would ensue if I popped my toddler into a “it’s 4:20 somewhere” shirt and brought her to the grocery store. I was even a little hesitant to tell close family and friends that I had resumed my cannabis use for fear of judgment–and these are people who know and love me, many of whom use cannabis themselves! 

Despite how much we now know about the benefits of responsible cannabis use and its multitude of wellness benefits, these positives are still buried by an outdated stigma. It’s caregivers who are buried the deepest, since we’re expected to juggle responsible child-rearing and role-modeling with our careers and social lives, none of which allow for cannabis in the current Acceptable by Society handbook. Sure we’re allowed to be cool and let loose, but only at the “right time” and in the “right way,” leaving us shamed into keeping quiet about our cannabis use.

Moms face such enormous mountains of guilt for everything they do and don’t do. Everyone who knows a caregiver hopefully knows not to comment on their parenting choices with judgment or opinion, but only in the case of a well-founded concern over child safety. Thinking “weed is bad” without having any real knowledge or experience with cannabis is simply not a well-founded concern. It definitely doesn’t automatically mean an unsafe environment for a child, but we will still hear about it if we are “found out” by those who are operating from a place of fear-based misinformation. 

To anyone reading this who loves a mom that loves cannabis, support her through advocacy and open-mindedness (and maybe a nice foot rub). 

To my fellow mamas who partake, I see you, I think you are insanely badass, and we should probably be friends. 

This post was written with a cup of Red Raspberry Leaf tea and a Miss Grass Fast Times Bloom + Play Mini Pre-Roll. Red Raspberry Leaf is touted for its uterine health benefits and pain relief thanks to a compound called fragarine. Miss Grass is an incredible, woman-owned brand and their Fast Time Minis are sativa-dominant with the perfect blend of terpenes for spending a sunny afternoon outside with your favorite people.

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